‘Big Love’ turns hopeless

How this blog got inspired…In the last few months the topic of ‘Big Love’ has been in my conciousness. Mine and others. It seems the highs are so incredible, unimaginable and sustainably blissful. Until the fall. The moment when one or both people realize that they will not be together. No riding into the sunset holding each others soul like a fragile egg. ugh. How do you pick up the pieces and move on when you feel something has been ripped from you at a cellular level?I had a big love experience. It knocked my socks off and over the past decade have been trying to sort through it all. The inspiration that came, the soul quickening, the soulful embodiment, the consciousness, all of which was catapulted from the existance of another human on the earth. It sounds so insane to write that I could ever see someone as so big, so powerful and so outside myself. Of course the feeling is inside myself and a beloved is only a reflection of love within myself. Yet at the same time the mind has processed it as outside. Why is it that the strength of the mind can over rule spirit in these moments? Like a sick virus that never leaves and causes deep loneliness and despair that can be debilitating? What if we all had the ability to completely switch the association of that love with another to our own soul love?

Now that its years later I was really thinking that I’d received all the messages and lessons that ‘big love’ was suppose to bring. And in some ways I may have given up believing that it could ever happen again. Mostly because I know all love is experienced to get us to the depths of our own soul love. The emptiness of another haunts me every once in awhile. Today it felt I shouldn’t deny that I’m called to dig a little bit deeper on the subject.

Several months ago I had the opportuity to see the person that represented my first big love experience. It was exciting, devastating and enlightening all at the same time. They are married with child so there wasn’t any type of expecation to rekindle anything. In fact I had no idea what the purpose really was to see them, other than it was Universally aligned. I don’t think its possible that its something I could have planned. What happened was amazing and unexpected. I’m writing my experience in my new book titled “Big Love”.

Upon telling the story A few months ago to a friend, it inspired her to share her big love story. Oh how I love to hear these stories as this energy is so powerful as it exudes and extends to anyone near by. It’s impossible to not be excited for the other person. Then the fall happens and you can feel it at a cellular level as they experience it for the first time. It’s like living it all over again and feels like another initiation that begs the question “have I learned all there is to know about this topic?”

Another friend appears in Ubud with not only a broken heart from big love but complete devistation. It doesn’t take long and she is suicidal. The mind created in depth stories that built walls she couldn’t get out of. And it felt there was nothing I could say or do to help pull her out of it. Makes you think love is a super sharp double edged sword.

In the last few weeks another friend shares her big love story that had already resulted in heartbreak. Everyone describes the same key aspects, that parts of themselves at a cellular level feel like they are dying. It’s not becaue these are hopeless women that are looking for some knight in shining armour to take care of them. In the cases I’m referring to, its quite the opposite. These are strong women in heart and mind who have met their soul match. So why does it have to end and feel so hopeless?

Then today a beautiful friend writes within a comment on a facebook post to me “a BEAUTIFUL friend who demonstrates the crazy power of love and just how impossible it is to kill HOPE”. I was so floored by her comment that I think a teardrop squirted from my eye on the spot! While I feel like it is my calling to encourage people to go for it, fall deep and hard in love, I had no idea anyone actually admired me for it. It’s also my passion to assist people to experience the heart break and to go deep into that too. It can be the most transformational experience on the planet. Well possibly trailing a near death experience. So the pressure feels on for me to have some answers.

What’s the key to it all? The big pearl of wisdom to share? It’s quite simple. No expectations. That is unconditional self love that extends to another. The Holy Grail if you will.

In a recent talk with a friend there was a charged discussion about whether its possible to have unconditional anything as a human on planet earth. I stated examples of Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, etc. She wasn’t buying it. I argued that we do what we can to raise our consiousness and acheive the highest possible vibration of non attachment. Honestly that goes over like a lead balloon with most people. So I had to reflect on my own comments to see if I really believed this was a sufficiant answer to my own heartstrings calling for my Divine compliment. I thought, nah, not really. If we set our sites at being Buddha, disappointment & disbelief can set in quickly.

So why do we feel so hopeless at these heartbreak points? Biologically when we kiss someone we start to exchange bacteria and that bacteria connects to one another. In a deeper, energetic way, we intertwine on each others etheral (life/energy) cord. So we have in fact attached to another in a biological, cellular and energetic way that we can experience in non-locality (quantum physics — look it up). We’re not alone in missing our beloved — so does our bacteria and life cord. So the disconnection one feels within their body is real and has nothing to do with that persons level of self love. Big love is bigger than self love because its a time space place reality that someone reflects it back to you. When two or more are joined together miracles can move mountains and when the movement stops, seemingly so does everything else.

When we experience big love our chakras open, especially the 2nd and 3rd. If we haven’t experienced this before in our life we are bound to the idea that that person is the source of the feelings that we are experiencing. However, the person is acting as a mirror giving us an opportunity to see & experience our own self love on another level.

It’s a level of vibration that raises, where anything feels possible and creating and manifesting becomes easier than ever before. It is biological and cellular reaction causing the explosion of romance to be euphoric. During this time of physicial and non physical connection there’s a hormone that gets excreeted helping to cause this euphoric, safe and intensly creative place. It’s a hormone called oxytocin which is well known as the ‘cuddle hormone’ or ‘love hormone’. So when we lose this reflection, we do have a biological, cellular reaction as oxytocin levels often plumit when left with our beloveds reflection no longer shining back at us.

In the past I found myself contemplating that perhaps these experiences are opportunities to reflect on ones level of self love. Now instead I believe we should acknowledge that big love is a blissful, unique and sacred union that doesn’t happen with just anyone.

I’ve now experienced big love with a few individals and I’m hear to tell you that I’ve survived them all. It wasn’t easy but I learned more than you can ever imagine and feel blessed to have the opportunity to experience each union. Many people go through lifetimes never experiencing big love. Knowing what I know today, I would take the heartbreak and seperation over the possibility of never experiencing big love any day. Unfortunately many people get stuck in the aftermath, close their hearts and don’t allow themselves to love to that level again. It is there that the point of it all is missed.

It’s when we allow ourselves to grieve and learn our light is from within that we can move into gratefulness. This my friend is the most beautiful place to be as it opens the heart space and allows for another opportunity for joining.

I now accept that I came here to planet earth for a reason. I set out to have a human experience and that includes deep, magical, mystical love that is experienced with another. That includes allowing the heartbreak to flow through and to practice loving unconditionally without expectation. Shattering the societal norms / believes. If I don’t achieve the conciousness and non attachment levels of Buddha, its ok. I’m here to try my best and enjoy the ride.

I believe all heartbreak leads us to our Divine compliment and catapults our life’s purpose on the earth plane. We can all get there but it does require us to ‘do the work’. It’s a matter of whether we want to learn the lessons to open our heart and be ready to surrender to all that is or is not. The heart work leads us to neutral state. And it is there that we truely know peace in our hearts and minds that passes all understanding.

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